A California family will be torn apart this Friday as Shirley Tan is deported back to the Philippines, leaving behind her partner of 23 years Jay Mercado and her twelve-your-old twin sons.

As reported in the San Jose Mercury News…

It’s hard when they are breaking up families,” said a tearful Mercado, as she sat next to Tan in the house the couple owns overlooking the Pacific Ocean. “Why can’t they just leave us alone? Just because I am not a man, that I cannot petition her (for a green card), they are punishing us.”

“The thing is,” Tan said, “it’s not only me who they are punishing. It is mainly my kids, because they are innocent. They are the ones suffering.”

If deported, Tan will be banned from entering the U.S. for 10 years. Mercado is prepared to leave her job and home behind to keep the family together in the Philippines.

Rep. Jackie Speier (D-CA-12), co-sponsor of the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) and representing the couple’s district said this of the situation (from Immigration Equality)…

“Shirley Tan’s unacceptable situation is just one example of why Congress must pass immigration equality legislation.  The Uniting American Families Act, which I co-sponsored, will allow lesbian and gay Americans to sponsor their permanent partners for residency in the United States … In the near term, I am confident that any official who examines the facts in Shirley Tan’s case will come to the conclusion that this hard-working mother of two should not be sent to a country where she has no support network and was the victim of a horrific act of violence.”

The White House also confirmed their support for UAFA this week through spokesman Shin Inouye who said “The President thinks Americans with partners from other countries should not be faced with a painful choice between staying with their partner or staying in their country. We will work closely with Congress to craft comprehensive immigration reform legislation.”

Of course not everyone is so supportive…

“I’ve Got a simple answer for both of you lesbians, instead of trying to change our laws, just take your two sons with you, nobody will be suffering then. And don’t let that 747 plane door smack on your rear-ends, on your way to Manila!”

— The Mark Chamot Report

Hopefully opinions such of as Mark Chamot’s are in the minority. Since Congress is going into recess next week, we should make every effort to meet with our representatives and let them know we can no longer allow families like this to be split apart by supporting the Uniting American Families Act. The Immigration Forum has made a toolkit available detailing how to schedule meetings with your local representative.

Read more on the personal story of Shirley Tan and Jay Mercado.

From WCAX TV in Vermont…

The Vt. Senate gave its final stamp of approval Tuesday to a bill that would allow same-sex couples to marry in Vermont. Passage came on a voice vote with no debate, one day after the Senate gave the bill preliminary approval on a 26-4 roll call vote. Now the issue moves to the House, where the Judiciary Committee has scheduled a week’s worth of testimony on the issue. It is expected to pass.

Governor Douglas has said that he opposes the bill, and this afternoon he announced he plans to veto it. He said he made the announcement to stop speculation and to focus attention on economy.

From Burlington Free Press live blog…

DOUGLAS: I believe our civil union law serves Vermont well … I believe that marriage should remain between a man and a woman … I’m announcing that I intend to veto this legislation when it reaches my desk.

Bastard.

New Pride 2009 music video celebrates the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots and the birth of gay pride…

Reminds me, in a good way, of this little diddy by Billy Joel.

It’s reasonably safe to say that country music hasn’t been friendly to the gay community (are you listening Big & Rich?), perhaps based in the geographic, religious and conservative roots of the genre. While not homophobic in the same sense as some rap or reggae music as evidenced in those genre’s lyrics, there is an element of homophobia with regards to the people who make and buy country music. The genre does not welcome or encourage gay artists, nor gay fans.

There are always notable exceptions. Dolly Parton. Emmylou Harris. Lee Ann Womack. The Dixie Chicks of course… And, yes, even Willie Nelson. But they are few and far between. Country music artists who are gay or gay-friendly must keep it to themselves, or risk taking a hit to their fan base and their bottom line.

Popular country music band Rascal Flatts may take such a hit thanks to an interview about their newest single “Love Who You Love” off their new CD Unstoppable.

“We actually have some gay people that work with us, and we have a lot of friends that are gay, too, and I know that this song has inspired them,” said singer Gary LeVox during an interview at CMT earlier this month. “I know that coming out was tough on their parents and on them and the whole entire family. For a long time, some of them didn’t get to hear ‘I love you’ from their dads or be accepted in that way. … It’s helped a lot of our friends.”

“That’s what’s cool about our music,” says guitarist Joe Don Rooney. “You can interpret (it like) that. If you get that — it’s perfect. If you are someone who’s gay or someone who’s straight, you still feel something from the song, and that’s what we want.”

“We don’t judge anybody’s lives,” says bassist Jay DeMarcus.

As a cynic, I always question the motives behind statements like these as simply trying to sell more records as opposed to genuine sentiment. I cringe every time I hear “we have a lot of gay friends.” But despite all that I will give them the benefit of the doubt, despite our political differences (art should always transcend politics). Rascal Flatts is taking a chance in this interview, and that has to count for something.

If country music is to turn the gay corner, it must do so gradually as not to alarm or antagonize its fans. We all remember what happened to the Dixie Chicks when they spoke out against President Bush. It nearly ended their career, and they are still taking flack for it. Perhaps a gentle nudging over time will lead to a little more tolerance, or better yet, acceptance.

Now, a bit about me and country music…

Growing up with parents from the south, I had little choice but to listen to the likes of George Jones, Tammy Wynette, Merle Haggard and Loretta Lynn.

But as I entered my teens, country music become totally uncool, totally. I complained regularly to my mother that most country music was about drinking, cheating, and D-I-V-O-R-C-E. and that I could no longer be bothered with it. I began to discover rock music, listening to the Eagles, Billy Joel, Fleetwood Mac, Foreigner, and later — this will be a surprise — ABBA, Duran Duran and Olivia Newton-John.

I had all but abandoned country music until my late 30s, but thanks to iTunes I began to revisit all those artists that I had so loathed growing up. Partly out of a sense of nostalgia, but mostly out of dearth of current music to which I could connect with. I began to listen to Dolly Parton, Emmylou Harris, Tanya Tucker and Anne Murray among others. I found I loved the music, perhaps because to varying degrees they were outsiders, or because the music for me exhibits a gay sensibility. It would be nice to have more artists like them to carry the torch.

The country music business should encourage gay artists and fans. There’s a lot of talent out there and a loyal fan base looking for someone to follow and love.