Despite a last minute push by the Connecticut Catholic Conference which paid for last minute television advertising, Connecticut voters on November 4th rejected a constitutional convention that could take away the right of marriage equality from all its citizens. And those same-sex marriages begin today.

Below is the ad funded by the Connecticut Catholic Conference.

From the Hartford Courant:

“The Church has been like the cavalry coming over the hill with guns blazing,” said Peter Wolfgang, executive director of the Family Institute of Connecticut, which supported the convention. “The other side was outspending us 83 to 1. The only thing that leveled it out is the Catholic Church.”

And to be fair, here is the ad run by those opposing a constitutional convention.

One observation: At least they had the courage to mention “gay marriage” in their advertising, unlike California.

So while Question 1 failed, it’s still a sad reminder of how pervasive this movement really is, as Mormons, Catholics and other faith-based groups pressure states to adopt discrimination into their constitutions, banning same-sex marriage. We just lost our rights to marry in California, thanks to that effort, in great part to the Mormon church, and to a lesser degree Catholics, who invited the Mormons to join the fray back in June. Rights were also lost in Florida and Arizona on November 4th, as well as a number of other states in previous elections.

While I’m happy for the people of Connecticut who made a stand and didn’t let fear get in the way of equal rights, I wonder if more money had been spent in support of the constitutional convention, would gay men and women still be saying “I do” today.

While we may have lost this particular battle, we certainly haven’t lost the fight. We and are allies mobilized like never before, and along the way I’m sure there were many acts of courage, both large and small, that made the margin between Yes and No razor thin.

Below is one such story. Gino VanGundy did something many of us would not have the courage to do: engage a “Yes on 8” supporter in their home and share how we feel about the issue, in the hopes of getting them to rethink their perceptions about marriage equality, and perhaps, us. But often we fall back on those feelings that kept us in the closet when confronting total strangers we fear are against us, to share who we are and where we stand. This makes Gino’s story all the more relevant.

If you have any stories or someone you would like to give tribute to or who inspired you, please email me at share@inlookout.com. I would love to post them here to inspire members of our community to be proud of who they are, to take a stand, and to make a difference.

Here’s Gino, in his own words, just a few days before the election…

Do you live in the suburbs? Are you tired of seeing the YES on Prop 8 signs everywhere and feeling like our voices are being drowned out by those that want to deny us (or your friends) our civil rights? I, for one, AM! They have even been coming to my front door. I have always taken the “nice guy” approach with them because mamma always said, “you can get much further with a teaspoon of honey than you can with a teaspoon of vinegar.” Speaking with them has been interesting, at best, but each time one leaves I find myself wondering, why the NO folks aren’t out there going door to door too. They have been coming to my door specifically because of the NO signs I have in my yard. Why shouldn’t we do the same?

About two weeks ago, as we were driving out of town on our daily trek from Fairfield to San Francisco (at 6am!) we were greeted by the largest YES banner we had ever seen! It was huge and stood about 12 feet in the air, was at least 6 feet wide and 4 feet high. Every morning for the last two weeks we have seen that sign staring down at us. To say that it has been an unpleasant way to start our day would be an understatement.

Today it hit me! If they can come to my front door, why can’t I go to theirs? I was admittedly terrified but decided that my first stop would be the house with the gigantic banner. I sat in my car for at least ten minutes as I mustered up the courage to actually ring the door bell. I thought, “deep breaths Gino, and just put one foot in front of the other” as I walked up the front walkway. I rang to doorbell and every natural instinct I had told me to run like hell! I stayed put and just as I was about to high-tail it out of there I heard the locks on the front door start to click. I was stuck! UGGH!

As the door slowly opened I was greeted by an older African American woman of about 75. Behind her stood a younger African American woman that was staring me down like I was not someone to be trusted. I smiled and introduced myself as a neighbor. I went on to ask them if they might be willing to discuss the banner that was looming over the busy street below. I sensed some indignation as in “who the hell are you to be telling me that I can’t put any damn sign I want in my yard?” I backpedaled and let them know that I believed it to be their right to hang whatever sign they choose and I went on to tell them that I was not there to attack them on their personal beliefs. I told them I was there to offer them a point of reference when thinking about the impact a YES vote on Prop 8 would have. “Well, what’s it matter to you? What are YOUR thoughts on the issue,” the younger woman said as she stepped out from behind the older woman. I took a big gulp and leapt right in! “Well,” I said, “for starters, I’m gay and the passage of Prop 8 would eliminate my right to equality under our Constitution.” Suddenly the older woman’s face softened and she said, “Well my sister works in San Francisco and she has a lot of gay friends and she wants me to take that damn thing down.” I saw an “in” but I waited for her to finish. “All this stuff is just too confusing to me! I’m not even a registered voter. Some guy knocked on my door and asked if he could put a sign in my yard to support some proposition. I told him that I didn’t care and the next time I went outside I looked up and saw this gigantic sign in MY BACKYARD!” “I never agreed to let him in my backyard he must have had a ladder because my gate is always locked.” “I’m just too old to get up there and take that thing down.” I had my in! “Oh, well if you’d like ME to take it down, I’d be happy to do that for you!” “Fine by me,” she said.

Unfortunately they did not have the key to the gate but I told them that I was more than happy to come back later when the person that had the key had returned. An hour later my daughter and I returned with our tools in hand and they happily let us into the backyard. Down came the sign, hugs given by all and my daughter and I expressed our sincerest appreciation as we left.

If you have thought of knocking on doors, now is the time. We have to get out and educate those that are blindly following, or worse, have been tricked into supporting something they do not fully understand. Be heard “stand up” and take the lumps that will surely come but know that there are people out there that support us but need some help to do it. One sign and one person at a time we can, at minimum, start to turn this dangerous tide.

A photo of the poster is below.

Frankly, we’ve been feeling a little left out. We’d read about these insidious “robocalls” on the internet but haven’t had the pleasure of receiving one yet. Until tonight.

We live in a very middle-class neighborhood just outside of San Francisco. The homes and some of it’s residents date back to the 1950’s and there’s a certain Edward Scissorhands/Tim Burton quality to the place. It’s an ethnically-diverse community, families with children playing in their yards and seniors out walking their dogs. We have our own schools and shopping centers. We moved here because it was affordable, close to San Francisco and seemed welcoming.

But not so much over the past few weeks. Yes on 8 signs began springing up like weeds recently. Some homes have plastered their windows with the ProtectMarriage logo. Just this evening we learned that a Yes on 8 rally took place in our neighborhood today, and the No on 8 sign we planted last night is now gone.

Perhaps it has something to do with the No on 8 fliers we have been putting in people’s mailboxes over the past few weekends. Or that there seems to be a church on every third block unsympathetic to our equal rights.

And tonight we come home to this:

The quote is from the Saddleback Forum that Barack Obama and John McCain attended back in August, moderated by Pastor Rick Warren of the Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California. Allow me to provide the full quote, as the robocall edits out the “but” that follows Barack’s answer.

WARREN: There’s a lot more I’d like to ask on that. We have 15 other questions here. Define marriage.

OBAMA: I believe that marriage is the union between a man and a woman. Now, for me as a Christian — for me — for me as a Christian, it is also a sacred union. God’s in the mix. But –

WARREN: Would you support a Constitutional Amendment with that definition?

OBAMA: No, I would not.

WARREN: Why not?

OBAMA: Because historically — because historically, we have not defined marriage in our constitution. It’s been a matter of state law. That has been our tradition. I mean, let’s break it down. The reason that people think there needs to be a constitutional amendment, some people believe, is because of the concern that — about same-sex marriage. I am not somebody who promotes same-sex marriage, but I do believe in civil unions. I do believe that we should not — that for gay partners to want to visit each other in the hospital for the state to say, you know what, that’s all right, I don’t think in any way inhibits my core beliefs about what marriage are. I think my faith is strong enough and my marriage is strong enough that I can afford those civil rights to others, even if I have a different perspective or different view.

Another misleading ad from the Yes on 8 crowd. Recently Obama and Biden have come out more strongly against Prop 8 calling it unnecessary and wrong. While I obviously don’t share my candidates’ views on same-sex marriage, with an Obama-Biden administration I can at least see us moving in the right direction.

And Yes on 8? Thanks for the extra bit of motivation. I’ll be planting more signs in our neighborhood tonight. I will take a day off from work tomorrow and spend my early morning voting No on Proposition 8 and then casting my ballot for Barack Obama as our next president. I will then stand with my partner and my best friends outside my polling location distributing fliers and asking them to vote No on Prop 8. I will do my part.

Now you do yours. Vote No on 8.