Equality California has launched the “Win Marriage Back” campaign aimed at restoring marriage equality California. In this effort they have release new television ads telling  the stories of real familes in California who were impacted by the passage of Proposition 8.

Ruben & Hector

[youtube width=”480″ height=”295″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBi5QJenrBU[/youtube]

Frances & Cynthia

The idea that Barack Obama has failed the gay community is catching fire in the media. The NY Times, Rachel Maddow, CNN, and the Huffington Post, are just a few of the outlets who have recently covered the story. Conservatives must be grinning like Cheshire cats as one of Obama’s own constituencies throws him under the proverbial bus.

If you have been following my blog recently, you know that I’ve been growing increasingly frustrated by the Me-Me-Me-Now-Now-Now coming from the gay community. I get it. I’m gay. It’s part of the genetic code. But it’s barely been a 100 days and there is nothing but whining and complaining, nothing remotely resembling patience. Can Obama do better? Sure. Has he written off the gay community as many have suggested? Hardly. Keep in mind the state of the union that Obama inherited was the worst of any President EVER. Yet many in the gay community seem reluctant to cut him any slack. I hate drawing moral equivalencies but how can you compare the hurt caused by the denial of marriage to a same-sex couple, to the the hurt experienced by a woman who can no longer receive chemo because she has been denied coverage by a greedy insurance provider? And this comes from someone who married his partner of 9 years last September and lives with the threat of Prop 8 taking it all away.

If Obama comes out in full support of the marriage equality decisions that have already taken place in a number of states what do you think will happen? His support will serve as a lightening rod to the anti-marriage movement growing their numbers. Do we really want this when the states seem to be making progress on their own? Are we that insecure that we need a pat on the back from the Obama administration? I find it frankly a little embarrassing and I am sure social conservatives are relishing it. I also find it interesting that the anti-Obama sentiment spreading through the gay community is strangely similar to that exhibited by gay Hillary Clinton supporters during the primaries, and some of the same blogs that carried that water then are carrying it now.

The Republicans are falling apart and the last thing I want is for the Obama administration to provide the glue to put them back together again. I think in the short term Obama could make progress on DADT without it becoming a lightning rod. Polls show that most of the electorate approve of gays serving in the military. I think Obama could set a wonderful first example by reinstating Lt. Dan Choi and letting that serve as the ice breaker for moving things forward.

I wonder if the gay community will give Obama any credit when he signs hate crimes legislation in a few weeks. If the first 100 days is any measure, probably not.

Let the onslaught of those accusing me of being an Obama apologist begin…

Kate Kendell, Executive Director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), expressed hope and optimism this past week that the California Supreme Court would overturn Proposition 8, particularly in light of recent polling and the recent same-sex marriage victories in other states.

From Kendell’s blog:

With its groundbreaking marriage decision a year ago, the California Supreme Court set us on a path that – despite some setbacks – has led to one marriage victory a week in the past month: A first-ever unanimous state supreme court ruling in Iowa; a huge victory in Vermont, where there was strong enough support for marriage equality to override their Governor’s veto; and tremendous movement in the legislatures of New Hampshire and Maine, with similar progress likely in the months ahead in New York and New Jersey. The result has been a profound sea change in public opinion, including my own view of what the next month will bring here in California.

Just this week, a new Washington Post-ABC News poll showed “a sharp shift in public opinion on same-sex marriage. Forty-nine percent said it should be legal for gay people to marry” – an 11 point shift from a similar poll conducted by the Post just three years ago.

I have always believed the California Supreme Court should strike down Prop 8 because the law is so overwhelmingly on our side. But I feared that other factors might result in an adverse decision. That fear has now been replaced by hope as courts and legislatures – as well as public opinion – have moved sharply in our direction. The Court can cement its legacy by overturning Prop 8 and upholding our Constitution’s promise of equal protection. Or it can cause untold pain and hardship to our community and forever undermine the independence of the judiciary and the historic role of the courts in protecting minority rights.

I believe the Court will do the right thing.

In April I heard Kendell speak at an Equality California “looking forward” townhall, where she described what it would take to bring marriage equality back to California. The advice is worth repeating, even in light of recent victories and whether the courts overturn Prop 8 or not.

“Because if the 350,000 people we need to move to our side next time, whether it’s 2010 or whether it’s later, do not sense that we are part of their human family, they are not going to change their vote. So I don’t care how it happens, I don’t care what medium people use, but everyone in this room, has to be uncomfortable—Every. Single. F@cking. Day. Every single day you have to be made uncomfortable, whether it’s a conversation with a cab driver, or the person you drop off your dry-cleaning to, or your neighbor or a family member. If every single day you are made uncomfortable, and butterflies in the stomach, by the conversation that you are having, where you risk your privilege by talking about the reality of your life, we could win in 2010. But that is what it is going to require. And it’s you and every single person you know, that must be willing to have that conversation every single day.”

In the end its more about changing hearts and minds for a lasting victory than any court ruling or vote.

A number of gay and liberal bloggers have expressed grave concerns that Obama has not been the “Fierce Advocate” for LGBT rights he claimed he would be in these first 100 days. In an op-ed in the Washington Post, former Clinton adviser on gay issues Richard Socarides expressed those concerns:

What makes this especially disappointing is that it comes during a crisis-driven “change moment” in our country’s history that not only cries out for leadership but presents a particularly good climate for making substantial progress on gay equality.

It is the memory of 1993’s gays-in-the-military debacle (and a desire never to repeat it) that has both the president’s advisers and policy advocates holding back, waiting for some magical “right time” to move boldly.

This is a bad strategy. President Obama will never have more political capital than he has now, and there will never be a better political environment to capitalize on. People are distracted by the economy and war, and they are unlikely to get stirred up by the right-wing rhetoric that has doomed efforts in the past.

And people are willing to try new approaches. The court ruling legalizing gay marriage in Iowa represents a real opening, an opportunity to get “undecideds” to take another look not only at gay marriage but at gay rights in general. As Iowa Sen. Tom Harkin remarked, many Americans may be asking themselves, “If the [Iowa] Supreme Court said this, maybe I have to think anew.”

First, let’s consider that 100 hundred days of the Obama presidency accounts for a whopping 6.8% of his entire first term. In all likelihood we will have hate crimes legislation written into law before we reach 10%. Certainly that must count for something. If Obama takes a firm stand on LGBT-supportive issues like gay marriage, as Socarides and others would have him, I fear the consequences would be more damaging than not, unifying the Republican party and religious conservatives in such way as to make them even more obstructionist, while simultaneously attracting more of the faith-based crowd who are typically apolitical. And it would alienate those people on the right who have drifted toward the middle and who likely voted for Obama in the past election.

There is also the notion that since Obama has admitted that his administration is capable of “multitasking” on multiple fronts,  that there should have been more focus on LGBT-supportive issues during his first 100 days. Honestly, with banks failing, homes foreclosing, unemployment rising, violence in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan increasing, car industries collapsing, carbon dioxide levels rising and the economy failing… I think I am going to give Obama a pass for now.

I do think there is truth in the idea that the Obama administration is just standing back, watching gay rights take root throughout the country. States are already moving in the direction of granting marriage equality or similar, and are becoming more amenable to LGBT-supportive issues. The passage of Prop 8 in California may have served as a catalyst of sorts swinging the pendulum of same-sex equality back in the opposite direction, energizing the gay rights movement.

Change is always more palatable when it comes from within, as opposed to being forced upon from the outside.

Another element of Socarides’ argument that I take issue with is that the administration should take advantage of the electorate while they are distracted by the war and the economy as to move the LGBT agenda forward. Didn’t the Bush administration distract the public with 9/11 and the war on terror, while they methodically stripped away many of our civil liberties and basic human rights? I liken it to dentist diverting your attention just as he plants the long needle into your gums. It’s uncomfortable and frequently hurts like hell, and it often leaves a bad memory.

Finally, all of this comes from person who provided advice to Clinton on gay and lesbian issues during his presidency. Did anything favorable come out of that advice? Hmmm?

So I’d suggest giving Obama a bit more time before denying him the title of “Fierce Advocate.” But all of this of course is coming from a bit of a political layman. I’m certainly open to having my mind changed, just not by Mr. Socarides.

Thankfully, I’m not the only one who thinks Obama is doing an alright job.

But to be honest,  Obama’s first 100 days hasn’t exactly been a bed of roses either. His handling of torture thus far has left much to be desired, and that he has five (four of which are LGBT-unfriendly) pastors on speed dial which he calls every time he has a crisis of thought, really, really bugs me. Tell me, why isn’t Gene Robinson at least on that list? And why is there an F’ing list at all?