When God offers up the idea of human sacrifice, and asks his loyal servant if he has reservations about killing his son Isaac, Abraham declares, “No Lord! I am your bitch!” A hysterical retelling of the Abraham and Isaac story from the hysterical British show “That Mitchell and Webb Look.”

Intellectual giants Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS) and Mary Landrieu (D-LA) have introduced the Human-Animal Hybrid Protection Act of 2009 to stem the growing market for centaurs, harpies, satyrs, mermaids and other animal-human hybrid freaks.

“This legislation works to ensure that our society recognizes the dignity and sacredness of human life,” said Brownback. “Creating human-animal hybrids, which permanently alter the genetic makeup of an organism, will challenge the very definition of what it means to be human and is a violation of human dignity and a grave injustice.”

This important piece of legislation is co-sponsored by nearly 20 other like-minded individuals who refuse to blur the lines between man and beast, and should be the Senate’s top priority. Prohibiting mad scientists from creating man-beasts is so much more important than health care or any of those other trifles the Senate is currently debating.

Give me a break. Granted there is some legitimate research going on in Britain, but it is not as the bible-thumping conservatives would present it.

Little Suzy seems to think so! In the “Story of Suzy,” an adorable little girl unknowingly helps the narrator pull back the covers on the act of prayer. Enjoy.

… So it’s perfectly okay to mine for uranium near the Grand Canyon as the earth has already survived most of that time without environmental laws. Ahem. Really? So without further ado, meet Republican state senator Sylvia Allen of Snowflake, Arizona — emphasis on the flake, I think.

And the remark was so offhanded, as if Allen were describing the way the sun comes up every morning… twice. Perhaps she and Sherri Shepard should form a club.